Powell’s “Old Man Yelling at Purple and Teal Clouds” Column
9/26/24
Well, let me know if I need to place this in a different category on the forum, but I guess it fits in hornets talk. I don’t know. It’s a well known HP fact: I can often run my mouth. Heck, I even enjoy talking to no one in particular. A core tenet of Buddhism states that “self cherishing” is the source of all suffering and problems. As a middle aged white guy, I can confidently attest that notion is dead wrong. I know much more about life in my 30 some years on earth than some 2,500 year old religion. Self-cherishing is actually the solution to all problems. In fact, that’s what is wrong with being a Charlotte Hornets fan-we have very little self cherishment. Way more self loathing. When it’s been over 20 years since our team has won a playoff series, there is not much self cherishing. Well, as a longtime Hornets fan, I think it’s time for a little less self loathing, and a little more self cherishing.
I’ve mentioned it before, but I wanted to go ahead and post this to help my own accountability. I’m going to give it a go in terms of trying to write something Hornets related every couple of weeks. I know myself-I’ll probably fall off, but it won’t happen at all if I don’t start. So, I’m starting. This is me starting.
I don’t really expect people to read this or care, as it’s mostly for me, hence the “Old Man Yelling at Clouds” title. Afterall, I’m a middle aged white guy-and the things I have to say are EXTREMELY important. I certainly wouldn’t want to deprive the world of another middle aged white guy’s opinion. So I have decided to do what most 30 something year old white guys do: start a podcast, or do something akin to this.
So I thought to myself, “well, I like writing, I have extremely important things to say. I could never deprive others of the opportunity to bask in my vainglorious Charlotte Hornets themed diatribes”. I am never one to eschew verbal ostentation, and hereby vow to use far too many words to convey my thoughts. This is America damnit. Home of the free where excess is celebrated. More is always better. Whoever believes that “less is more” or “quality over quantity” is a loser and coward. As a Hornets fan, I certainly am a loser-I’m reminded every season. But by god, I am no coward.
There are dozens of other Charlotte Hornets fans out there. And I simply cannot wait for none of them to read this. So strap in, prepare yourself to feel a mixture of underwhelmed and disappointed, and brace yourselves for an array of spelling, grammatical, and syntax errors. With a little Charlotte Hornets basketball talked mixed in. Heck, I may even mix in some cherry picked numbers, advanced stats and analytics that will bolster whatever my opinion is. If there’s one thing I know for certain: it’s that feelings are facts, and I can find something out there to finagle into a cohesive, self-serving narrative. I’m only half kidding, I’ll try to be a little objective. Sort of.
If you don’t like this, write your congressman or local representative.
Anyways. Be safe out there and wear your ankle braces.
-P
Next time…Will debut my “Powell’s Hornets Panic Meter” and discuss some hopes, wishes, and projections for the team, players, and more.
