Back to the topic at hand ,all is good,
Not talking religion but that is the best answer in regards to forgiveness that I could give. I did say that if Miles could seek help and come back with a contrite heart that he should get another chance to continue his playing career. I mean if he can seek counceling and he truly comes across as sorrowful for his actions then in my opinion he deserves another chance. It is not like prior to the icident in question his abuse of his wife was the culmination of a lot of bad behavior on his part.
I have a big brother who had a history of physically assaulting women but he changed and he felt bad about his actions. He just needed better coping skills. I fully agree that Miles should be punished but if that doesn’t entail jail time than a lengthy suspension and heavy financial fine should be more than enough. That is if Miles gets counceling and follows any other demands the team and/or league would choose to enforce. I also hope Miles wife gets financial compensation. That is the best that she most likely could hope for but it is something as opposed to nothing where she is concerned.
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You didn’t write anything that people who want take time to think about the words you used wouldn’t get your meaning. Some people just disagree with the notion of forgiving a repentant person.
I think everyone on here can agree that regardless of whether they would forgive or give a second chance to Miles, one consequence of his actions is that he categorically blew the chance to be offered a big money contract for long term years. Now, if after repentance, professional help, etc he demonstrates a sincere change in his life over a period of years not months, that could change.
For the record, I was against paying miles before we knew about this. I don’t love his game anyway.
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“Some people just disagree with the notion of forgiving a repentant person”
People that have done the work to improve themselves are not entitled to forgiveness from others; however, *they should do the work regardless of the forgiveness outcome attached to the self improvement they’ve done. I’m a substance abuse therapist, and this comes up. A lot. People who suffer from addiction often inflict a lot of damage onto those around them as the result of their actions while in active addiction. They are not entitled to the forgiveness of others just because they got sober, and if they base their recovery around that-well they’re going to run into serious problems. They can only be in charge of themselves. They need to do that work for themselves primarily, and forgiveness and repairing relationships is secondary. But repairing relationships takes real time. And it takes A LOT of work.
And if Miles is genuine and does the work. Then great. Maybe he can re enter the league in a few years when he’s done that. Will he talk the talk AND walk the walk? I don’t know. It’ll take time to see. But for now, the guy who beat the hell out of his wife in front of his young child is owed nothing by the Hornets or the fans.
He completely lost my respect. And he had the balls to post videos on his social of him working out the next day like nothing even happened. So no, Miles is not entitled to forgiveness, the organization giving him “the benefit of the doubt”, or being allowed to be a part of the team anymore.
But Miles can earn back my respect if he puts his big boy pants on, takes some fucking ownership, takes accountability, and commits to doing the work required. And that takes time.
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What brought most of this discussion (which I very much enjoy) on was the last part of your post about “getting theJesus stuff out of here”.
Deadly Swarm (I think) was speaking solely of himself and him forgiving Miles. His mention of Jesus is to anchor the reasoning of his statement. A good source reading of this is Luke 7:36-48.
As Christians, we are compelled to forgive because we have been forgiven much and only because of God’s grace and love. It is the framework of our worldview.
However, we also understand that others (especially non-Chrisitians) may not forgive us if we hurt them. It also does not require that a relationship continue. Forgiveness does not mean a restoring of the relationship particularly in cases of abuse.
A good book which you as a therapist might find interesting is called Amish Grace.
Of course, you are free to absolutely hold your opinion. I am just trying to capture the essence of what I think deadly Swarm was conveying.
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Very well put chef. And while I recognize that religion is a very personal subject, and even a potentially controversial one, for people of faith, it can’t just be easily set aside and muted. It provides the lens and the framework for how many people view issues like this. Therefore, for me, it is extremely relevant to the conversation. Not saying it has to be for everyone, but it most certainly is for me.
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Thanks Chef and DemonDeaCat. You are both correct.
So now that the religon thing is settled. Miles court date is this week . Does any one know what he is charged with . DV i know for sure but is any thing attached to it. Most of the time a lot of small charges are thair two. Me i think they settle and she signs a nondisclosure agreement. And setles and takes the money.He might be playing day one never know what the courts do this day and time.
Settlement is for just a civil case if she were to sue him in court for compensation. If they couldn’t come to an agreement on a settlement, then the case would continue on to trial, and after all the evidence is presented, then damages (compensation) would be determined, normally by the judge (although there can be a jury in big cases). So if the defendant is really inclined not to have any details of the case to come out, then they would pursue a settlement.
But for the criminal side, even if she doesn’t want to press charges, the prosecutor can still go forward if they feel there is enough evidence. I would guess there seems to be strong evidence for a crime to be prosecuted at trial, unless during the investigation some funny business came about. But Miles wife can’t settle the criminal side.
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My wife just told me even it the wife wanted to settle . The charges on a felony is determind by by a grand jury be for court. The charge was a felony . So he might have to see court any way.
QC what you said lol
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Well said.
.
Oh that’s going to upset a few snowflakes on here Chef, hahahaha
This is great man!
I stated on the board that the only way I would want to see Miles here is if he had a life changing moment that would make him a better man, father, partner etc and where he came forward as broken and contrite and as an authentic leader against domestic violence.
He should pay the legal and relational consequences that are deemed necessary by the woman and the state.
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This all gets real meta real quick when you start thinking about why you’re thinking the way that you are.
In general, I’m for forgiveness. I think we all can agree that regardless of faith or lack of faith, forgiving when we truly feel betrayed is hard.
I feel really betrayed by Miles. I’m also very ready to forgive at the same time, assuming certain actions by Miles to make things as right as they can be. But I wonder if that’s because he’s been one of my basketball heroes and if I’d be so willing to forgive if he was just some random guy on the street. Or a Laker. I’m also wondering how easy I’m willing to forgive because I want Charlotte to be successful. It’s a weird feeling. I also know it’s not about me and my forgiveness that matters. Yet, here I am in this skull, typing away.
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Welp, bye bye Miles
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Well, he appears to be going to the big house if found guilty. Have to let it play out. Hornets brass have rushed to judgement.
If he is guilty, young man is going to do hard time. No difference to me in what Iron Mike went to prison for.
Mike didn’t attack a kid. This is very bad. Welp might as well spend that Miles money in free agency.
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As soon as we thought things couldn’t be worse, he gets charged with 3 felony counts. I guess he can focus on his rap career behind bars.
Is the girlfriend not his wife? I am confused. Does the wife know about the girlfriend and two kids?